Life with Spondylolisthesis

Writing this isn't going to be easy for me. Sometimes I still can't even believe I have it.

What is Spondylolisthesis you ask? When my dr first said the word to me I was dumbfounded. I had no idea what exactly it was. Like every other human being out there I ran home and immediately did my research on it and I'm not thrilled about having it to say the least.

For those who still don't know, here you go: "Spondylolisthesis is the forward displacement of a vertebra, especially the fifth lumbar vertebra, most commonly occurring after a break or fracture. Backward displacement is referred to as retrolisthesis."

For 8 years I pushed through the pain of it. I still to this day cannot figure out when or how it happened. All I know is shortly after I gave birth to my first daughter I started having pain in my lower back. It increased over the years. Even when I was working it still hurt. After giving birth to my second child, the pain just became overwhelming but I still pushed through it.

After having dealt with it for so long, my very loving and caring husband had had enough of seeing me in pain to the point of being in tears and pushed me to make a dr's appt. Sure enough back in February I did. I went in, told him what was going on and he sent me for an x-ray. A few days later I got the call about my condition and was prescribed with physical therapy for one month. It helped... but only temporarily. Something popped in my pelvic area a week before my script was up but unfortunately it did not cure the problem. It's still there. My physical therapist and I discussed me doing an at home program with the exercises I learned but even that has not helped.

The road this is going to take me down is something I greatly fear. I don't ever want to have something injected into my back and I sure as heck do not want surgery. These 2 reasons are the ones I kept in the front of my mind all those years and decided to just push through the pain.

I can't even describe how many nights I stayed up crying because of pain or crying because I don't know what the future holds for me. I cried in front of my dr, cried in front of my physical therapist, cried in front of my husband and even my children.

This medical condition is no joke. Even with surgery or injections it's something I'm going to have to deal with for the rest of my life. It's never going to fully go away. The damage is done and I have to live with it.

It's no fun having to constantly sit with a pillow behind my back or even a heating pad. It's no fun not being able to stand in place for more than 5 minutes at a time. It takes me hours just to get dishes done. I cannot sit and fold laundry or even stand and fold laundry without ending up in pain. I have become very limited on what I can do and it sucks.

I will continue writing my journey in the months and years ahead to keep a record and let everyone know how I'm doing.

I will forever be known as a "spondy" and I've accepted it. I don't know what the road ahead has in store for me but I am grateful to have such a caring husband who has been there for me with this every step of the way.